2. Unleashing the Raw Power of Emotions: A Journey of Self-Discovery

The following Blogs posts titled:

Unleashing the Raw Power of Emotions: A Journey of Self-Discovery

are a series of documentations from a self-discovery, creative process with Expressive Arts that ran over the course of six weeks.

All images and texts herein are original and consent was given to post these here on this website only.

Beginning to create art on a large canvas requires a brief introduction, as the process can sometimes be lengthy and may lead to frustration. Each stage of painting can evoke questions, doubt, uncertainty, a loss of interest, or frustration.

What if I told you that this is good and it is supposed to happen, and these emotions will pass!

At the start of this process, I usually advise: if you ever feel stuck, frustrated, negative, hopeless, worried, or unmotivated during any part of the painting process, consider asking yourself these three questions:

1. What thoughts come up?

2. What emotions present themselves right now?

3. What could be the possible triggers of A and B?

Explore where these thoughts, feelings and triggers come from.

Are these thoughts from untruths that you tell yourself repeatedly, of things that you have heard throughout your life, or are they from fear of losing control, self-doubt?

REFLECTION ENTRY: THE BEGINNING...

"I want to work big! Bigger than I usually do. I feel I have this need to express myself fully and use large brushstrokes!"

I worked on a canvas 1 x 1m big.

"Multiple layers of color emerged. Different energy, shapes, colors, a transformation throughout the week. I couldn't decide where this journey of expression would lead me. It felt like a trip into the depths of my imagination, where my fears confronted me. I got frustrated. I lost my way. I had no goal, except that I just wanted to finish somehow.

The picture bothered me! It didn't evolve as I would have liked it. I was dissatisfied, but I stuck to it. I didn't want to give up. 'Keep going', I encouraged myself.

"The process of the art making," arts therapists say "that is of essence". But I wanted to work towards a goal and a specific result. Something I liked and could hang up. I saw the picture as a reflection of myself and somehow I wanted to be proud of my result, my goal, and something that could strengthen my self-worth.

The picture showed me different stages and the process gave rise to various themes: a journey through time, a transformation. Finally, I painted with my fingers and hands.

The process: exploring, discovering, changing, painting over, finding a resolution.

I noticed I needed structure and more thickness of colors. The properties of acrylic paint were not enough for me. I wanted to apply the colors really thickly. I needed more volume - and I felt so did my artwork.

I mixed fine sand into the colors and almost slapped it on to the canvas with my hands. The thick and textured paint now took on a different quality, I needed another method to deal with it. The process now felt more satisfying, and I slowly began to see a form developing. It felt good to see that my picture became a bit more three-dimensional. It seemed fuller, more stable, richer, and got more structure. It now also grew in depth. That felt good.